My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So many bounce houses so little time
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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