So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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