Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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