Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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