Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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