During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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