the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
