hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
