we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
