She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
