She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
