Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
