and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
