I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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