Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
