she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
