i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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