Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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