This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
