It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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