Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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