i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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