I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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