a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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