I'm eating all of the evidence.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
