I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize