If i come over, it means nothing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
