Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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