i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
