I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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