we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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