Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
