I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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