I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
