if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize