spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
