I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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