I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That accounts for only three of the penises
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My ass is underappreciated
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
