Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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