I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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