Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
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i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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