and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
