roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
