3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
