even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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