Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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