Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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