You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
