found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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