You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
