Moan for me like Helen Keller
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
4 words: hood of his car
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
