You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
