Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
