come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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