She said her name was "party"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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